Did you ever wonder how parents of kids with extensive lists of diagnoses and therapies ever homeschool? Amanda Alexander, mom to Anna, homeschools successfully in spite of Anna’s major diagnoses of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, plus more than a dozen others. Anna has had many therapies- speech, ESOL, OT, ABA, DBT, CBT, EMDR, etc, but Amanda says “If I can do this, anyone can!” As she looks back today, I asked Amanda to share some wisdom from her journey with Anna…
On this day 3 years ago, I started homeschooling our oldest daughter for the first time. I set up a classroom at home that was similar to public school and enrolled her in gymnastics, homeschool PE at the YMCA, homeschool co-op at a local church, and she continued dance classes (ballet & tap) she was already enrolled in. It was TOO much for our daughter. The reason we withdrew her from public school was because it (set up, class placement, etc.) wasn’t working with her early childhood history of neglect, abuse, and institutionalization in Russia prior to adoption. Why did I think duplicating the public school at home would help? I meant well back then but I’ve learned a lot over time!!
I’ve been homeschooling again for almost two months for the same reasons- she needs one on one attention, needs more time for therapy, public school placement wasn’t working, and she needs to learn basic life skills. No need for a fancy set up- it’s too overwhelming anyway. The kitchen table works just fine. I have an organized area in another location for everything but only get out what she needs at the time. Therapists said NO extracurricular activities for at least a year and I listened this time. There will be plenty of time for equine therapy and sports when she is ready. She has plenty to do inside and outside here at home. We have family membership at several local places (zoo, aquarium, etc.) and try to have at least one field trip each week. I’m able to work in her Neuro-reorganization exercises during the day and we try to do Neurofeedback therapy a few times a week. We also incorporate plenty of bonding and attachment. You can see how we almost always do more than the state requirement of 4-1/2 hours a day for 180 days a year! She’s a very busy girl! Homeschooling is as much a learning process for parents as it is for children!
Here are a few things I’ve learned-
1) Don’t make it more complicated than it is. The bottom line is teaching your child what she needs to know. You know her best!
2) Relax and learn with your child. I learn daily right along with her. Some days I learn that the way I’m teaching something isn’t working. That’s ok- I tailor it to meet her needs.
3) Teaching socialization with different ages is just as important as a class full of children her age (and it’s how the real world works too- I never just worked with people my age in the past!).
4) Don’t get too involved in too many things. One thing at a time is best for extracurriculars.
5) Go with the flow and never try too much at once (30 minutes at a time before a rest or exercise period
works best here).
6) Get out of the house and get fresh air! Run, walk, swing, or read a book outside.
7) If she’s getting frustrated, exercise works wonders! We have a mini trampoline inside.
8) Singing lessons are how she learns best so there’s a lot of music here!
9) Basic life skills come first but academics are important too. A child must be able to function in society as well as know math and science.
10) While a schedule is important, routine is more important. Routine can be just staying in the same safe place with the person the child trusts. Too often people get routine and schedule confused. Math every day at 10:30 is silly if it doesn’t work!
11) Snacks and healthy meals are so important! Take snack breaks often.
12) Pray daily for more patience. It takes patience to be a parent, more patience to raise a child with special needs, and even more patience to homeschool!
13) Never raise your voice. Take a deep breath and keep your voice calm and eyes loving and sincere. Parents need breaks just like children.
Obviously the most important thing I’ve learned is to keep learning and being able to switch things up (materials, the way they’re presented, time of day, etc.) so that I’m doing what is best for our daughter.